1 post tagged “agita”

When I got home from work last night at 8:30, I was tired and upset and cold and frustrated and confused and just all turned around with the world. And starving, as the only thing I'd had to eat that day was a handful of pretzels and a cold slice of pizza that I scarfed down during my break. But I was utterly paralyzed about what to order, though I knew I wanted to order something. I consulted with my friend who suggested several places ... all of whom were no longer delivering by the time I actually decided what I wanted to eat.

I tried rationalizing that perhaps this meant I wasn't actually hungry. But I was, I knew I was, and I hadn't had any sort of appetite for a few weeks and wanted to reward my hunger with, you know, sustenance. As a treat.

Finally, I ordered a pizza with pepperoni and green peppers. And I had angst about it because so rarely in my life have I just ordered something for myself without regard for others. It's such a stupidly simple thing, asking for what you want and then getting it and not having to feel bad about that. I need to deprogram many facets of me.